The Power of the Minority of One
I had an opinion last week. It was a brave opinion; one that I was fiercely proud of, one that fought for higher standards and our best interest, the kind that many secretly agreed with. That was the problem with it.
The opinion that others secretly agree with is deadly. When it comes to supporting you, standing behind you, joining forces with you, there may be no one there. You may find that you are a Minority of One. They may whisper their agreement to you, but refuse to state it within earshot of another.
Shortly after stating my rather unpopular stance, I was blasted with the anticipated hate mail followed by a slow trickle of private thank you notes and you go girl emails. Several days later, I was quietly assured that I had more friends and supporters than antagonists. But the person remarking that looked uneasy at the thought of someone seeing us together.
Dont be bothered by them, I was told. The trash talkers werent the ones I was bothered by. It was the people who secretly agreed and wouldnt speak up.
I didnt understand it. The people who secretly agreed felt passionately about the issue at hand. Why didnt they say anything? Were they all talk, no action? Were they fearful of losing their popularity in the group? They clearly did not want to be associated with the sole dissenter; were they really willing to betray their friendship with me in order to maintain phony agreement with the majority?
Days later I was asked if I would have done the same thing if I could go back in time. I didnt hesitate a second; I emphatically replied, Of course, because it was the right thing to do.
Would those who secretly agreed and kept quiet respond the same way? I was adamantly proud of what I did. Were they?
Then it hit me. The problem was that I cared. I cared about the best interest of the group. I was not about to tolerate unethical actions or let an aggressive and intimidating minority control the rest of the group.
If you ask people why they keep their mouths shut, theyll respond by saying that they dont want to get involved. Their involvement is selective; they are front and center when things are going well. Once a problem pops up, they shut down and wait for it to go away. These people are checking out right when we need them to check in.
Unfortunately, there are still people in this world who, similar to a child, will push boundaries until someone pushes back. The game is simple. How much can I get away with? How far will they weaken their standards, values or ethics? How much do they really care about protecting their image and reputation? How much will they fight for the best interest of the group, the community or the environment? Can I manipulate these people into doing something they probably wouldnt do on their own?
Ive seen this occur in all areas of life. Business leaders do it by purposely neglecting to be environmentally responsible or with illegal business practices. Several people in the organization know exactly what is going on, but keep their mouths shut, sometimes waiting for a brave Whistleblower to emerge.
In sports, players may urge teammates to play dirty when a big game in on the line, even if doing so could result in unnecessary injury or a bad reputation for the team. It is common to hear, Its okay as long as the ref doesnt catch it.
Girls Gone Wild. Need I say more? The game here is to see if the crew can manipulate the girls into lowering their morals and standards low enough to entertain an audience of strangers. People dont respect them because their behavior tells us how easily they can be manipulated and used for anothers entertainment. And they just give it away, demanding nothing in return.
In each of these cases, there was likely someone thinking that they should say something. Theres an employee who feels guilt in averting his eyes, a player who doesnt want to see anyone get hurt, a friend who doesnt want to see her friend do something shell later regret.
The system of manipulation only works if no one stands up and says anything to challenge it.
The Minority of One can have a lot of power behind it. All you need is one person to stand up. One person to ask a question or insinuate that further discussion may be needed. Or one person to simply say no.
When one person stands up or speaks out, it opens the door for others to walk through. Pushing the door open is a heroic act, especially when the issue at hand is of a serious nature. Honor the act and the person by stepping through that door if you happen to agree with them.
You may be thinking that you dont want to get involved. Being involved in the good times AND the bad times is part of being an adult and it is part of the commitment. If you cannot commit to being there through the thick and thin of it, reconsider being there at all. Many marriages fail because one partner checks out every time the going gets rough. Whether its a relationship or a company, protecting the best interest can be killed by fair-weather people who check out when danger strikes. The more people check out, the easier it is for manipulators and those who have hidden agendas to prey upon the feast before them.
It is tremendously easier to get INTO something than it is to get OUT of something. Do not fall prey to others manipulations unless you enjoy the paralysis of being in too deep and a lifetime of regret/guilt/shame.
Taking the position that stands for justice, for dignity, for whats right may be the hardest one to take. Standing up and challenging the majority can be heroic. Give a voice to the thoughts that fight in your gut and heart to be spoken. And when another stands up for something you believe in, be ready and willing to join them.
For more articles by this author, please go to: http://healthefield.blogspot.com
To Blame or Not To BlameA man can fall many times, but he isnt a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. (John Burroughs)Fire her, she set me up! John yelled quite loudly. He was incredibly angry and for good reason. However, he was really angry at the wrong person. What he was really saying was […]
Written by info on November 1st, 2007 with
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